


Well, shit.

by Lucyverse



Series: "No Puppies Allowed!" [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mpreg, Short, Werewolf Severus Snape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-07
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2019-01-30 13:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12654642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucyverse/pseuds/Lucyverse
Summary: Minerva questions her life choices.





	Well, shit.

Minerva sometimes wondered where her life would have taken her if she had never pursued a career in teaching. Perhaps she should have listened to her mother and become a cat behavioural consultant instead. It was safer, cleaner and the cats never answered you back (at least not in spoken English.)

But unfortunately, she had decided to follow her dreams and that’s why she was now sitting in Dumbledore’s office, Severus to the left of her and Poppy to her right, clutching the little white stick that would surely bring about the fall of Hogwarts.

‘Minerva,’ a nudge from Poppy brought her plummeting back to earth and she grasped the wretched thing a bit tighter, ‘Minerva, I think you should put that down.’

Perhaps it wasn’t too late to become a cat behavioural consultant. She’d be great at it; she was an Animagus for crying out loud, she was practically born for the job.

‘Minerva?’

She decided she could leave her internal debate for another time. Right now, she was trying desperately not to break out in hives.

‘I think you should take another one,’ she finally said aloud, looking straight ahead of her, as if hoping a giant black hole would appear out of nowhere and suck her into oblivion, ‘you know, just to be certain…’

‘That’s the third test I’ve taken in two hours,’ Severus growled, rubbing his tired eyes, ‘if I keep this up, my bladder’s going to rupture. You need to face the facts, Minerva – I’m pregnant.’

 _Pregnant_. That word tore through Minerva McGonagall like the thin edge of a blade, slicing through layers and layers of skin and ripping into her soul. Why was it that bad things always seemed to happen to good people?

She _was_ a good person, wasn’t she? She paid her taxes and donated to charity and made sure her students got their homework done on time. Not to mention how pristine she kept her paws and whiskers whenever she was in cat mode.

She just couldn’t understand how this could possibly have befallen her, after all the hard work she had put into keeping Severus and Remus apart.  

Albus seemed to be the only one who wasn’t completely stunned by this revelation; he was pottering about his office without a care in the world, searching his shelves for any useful books on werewolf domesticity.

‘It says here,’ he announced to the trio, flipping through a particularly fat hardback, ‘that it is vital that the living conditions for the carrying male are comfortable and secure to ensure safe labour; any additional stress could jeopardise the wellbeing of the pups.’

‘I had hoped that you would take this a bit more seriously, Albus!’ Minerva said in dismay, dropping the damned pregnancy test onto the desk in front of her, ‘if word gets out that we’re harbouring a family of lycanthropes within the school, every parent in Britain will want our heads! We’ve spent years trying to prevent this sort of thing from happening and now, thanks to Poppy over here, we’ll soon be blessed with a dozen miniature werewolves scampering within every inch of the castle!’

‘According to my studies,’ said Poppy, defiantly, ‘Severus can only carry up to five puppies at a time – “a dozen” is quite an exaggeration, Minerva.’

If looks could kill, Poppy Pomfrey would have dropped dead on the spot.

‘I can assure you, I will do everything in my power to make sure this matter remains confidential,’ the old man returned the book to its place on the shelf and began unwrapping a sherbet lemon thoughtfully, ‘in the meantime, it is best that we all remain calm and focus on keeping Severus as relaxed as possible until his due date. I have little doubt that the next eight months are going to be incredibly trying for him.’

Minerva was itching to argue her point, but she gave up and decided it wasn’t worth fretting over anymore. ‘Come along then, Severus,’ she said, as she rose out of her seat, taking a moment to dispose of the pregnancy test with a flick of her wand, ‘I think we best tell Remus the news now, so he has enough time to get over the shock. Then we’ll stop by the kitchens.’

Severus frowned, ‘why the kitchens?’

‘After what I’ve heard today, I need a bloody drink -- or seven.’


End file.
